Strengthening Parent-child Relationship

"When children choose what to play and how to play, their cup is refilled. This refill boosts their confidence and fosters their relationship with you." - Lawrence J Cohen

Healthy secure relationships provide fertile ground for a child to mature and develop into all that they are capable of becoming and enjoy healthy, harmonious relationships with others.

 

The paradox is, the more the child can depend on their parent(s) to meet their needs in relationship, the more independent and mature they will become.

 

Play is a child's most natural medium of expression and enables them to communicate what they are not able to verbally.This provides an ideal opportunity to join with your child in their world and...  

  • communicate an understanding and acceptance towards them 

  • a validation of their voice 

  • a permission to be themselves and thus

  • a respectful space for their life-giving uniqueness to unfold .

 

Through these experiences the child feels rested psychologically, learning that who they are as an individual is acceptable, that they can express their needs and have them heard and understood. 

As such they learn to depend on their parent to meet their needs in relationship. 

Session Structure

Session One 1.5 hrs

  • I will listen carefully to the difficulties you are experiencing with your child and develop an understanding of the possible reasons for your child's behaviour

  • I will provide education around the mind of a child and help you to understand what your child might be asking for through their behaviours. We will look at what children need in relationship to enable their healthy, emotional and to develop resiliency .

  • We will look at ways in which you can respond to your child and meet their needs, so that...

  • the behavioural strategies they have instinctively used to get their relational needs met are no longer needed.

  • they learn that they are able to depend on you to be the answer to their needs.

  • To develop a secure attachment relationship and a positive, enjoyable cycle of relating.

  • To facilitate their healthy emotional and social development and the development of resiliency

  • I will provide you with literature that will support our work in the session

Session Two: 1 hour

  • How have you got on in implementing some changes

  • We will talk about the different aspects of our work in the playroom

  • Preparing you for the playroom

  • I will help you gain an understanding of what to expect in the playroom

  • I will provide you with literature around our work in the playroom

 

Session 3-7: Thirty minutes in the playroom + Thirty minutes parent consultation

  • Each session will be made up of 30 minutes in the playroom with you and your child

  • Followed by a 30 minute consultation at a time that suits you, without your child.

  • This will include talking about the various aspects of the playroom experience as well as continuing to support you to meet your child's needs in relationship and facilitate a secure relationship

    What to expect:

  • After gaining an understanding of what your child might be asking for through their behaviours and then meeting these needs – you might find that your child's behaviours improve significantly

  • The playroom models a way of being with your child/the type of relationship that facilitates the natural instinct of your child to depend on you to meet their needs.

  • As we work together to look at ways in which you can meet your child's needs more fully, which can be put to practice in the playroom, the connection between you and your child strengthens.

  • The stronger the connection, the more the child knows they can depend on you, the more rested and released the child is to develop resilience and emotional health.

  • You will be enabled to continue these play sessions at home if you choose to do so.

The Benefits

A child who is rested and dependent on their parent/caregiver to meet their needs in relationship can benefit from the following...

  • rest from a preoccupation with pursuing their needs in a way that can push others away

  • in this rested place their drive towards maturity, growth and development is released

  • reduced anxiety

  • improved self-esteem and a belief, valuing and trust in themselves and others in relationship

  • improved emotional regulation and self control

  • able to relate more healthily with others

  • improved brain development and resiliency 

  • more energy left for exploration and learning

"The key to activating maturation is to take care of the attachment needs of the child.  To foster independence we must first invite dependence..." - Dr. Gordon Neufeld

 

Helen Huston Therapy, Whangaparaoa, 021 422 045

  • Facebook Social Icon